More than a Little Impact

Mrs. "Wittle" as Mason used to call her was just what our family needed for Mason in PreK. She was so loving and patient with him even though most of the time he was hard to understand with his driven like a motor speech. I remember her calming my mama heart saying, "He just has so much to say...we will work with him on being more patient and encourage him to only say one thing at a time." I knew then she understood; she understood Mason as a 4 year old with so much to say and me as a teacher-mother who knew we needed a game plan on how to fix this.

At the end of the year Mason received the "Most Athletic" award. Even though those early elementary everyone gets an award don't seem important to most, it meant the world to Mason. He talked about it so much it is now a running joke that Mason is athletic because he received the award in PreK. All teachers after her were measured against her standard. The summer between Pre-K and Kindergarten my mom was very sick and she helped me navigate sharing that experience with Mason and for that I will forever be grateful.

All through the years I know of countless stories similar to Mason's that prove she was cognizant of her students and their unique needs. She was a treasured gift to those she taught and to those lucky enough to share a learning environment with her. Her knowledge of early childhood was an asset with a priceless value, accomcompied with her care for students with their unique backgrounds will be unmatched. That legacy will touch generations to come.

A Good Neighbor

I lived next door to Mrs. Hazel my whole life until I married and moved 10 min away about 17 years ago.  As a kid, I remember knowing she was older than Sarah Mae but feeling like she couldn’t be that much older because an old lady was an old lady.  But Mrs Hazel Bass wasn’t your run of the mill old lady next door.  She was an active fixture of our community.  Everyone knew her and she knew everyone.  

Her yard was immaculate.  Her grass never looked as though it needed to be cut but it was cut at least twice a week with a push mower.  The marvel of her pushing the push mower up the ditch bank with one arm seemed bionic. Her riding a mower seemed to be a natural progression of her getting older.  Until she let it slip one day on the phone with grandma that she had seen me cut with a riding mower and thought “if that little girl can do it so can I!”

Her and Sarah Mae often talked on the phone and shared as neighbors do.  Most of the time she would stop by with her cane while she was walking for “exercise”, down to Jesse’s; leaving with “well I will get on back down the road!”

In Sarah Mae’s eyes, Hazel Bass was “one smart lady” cause she could do anything she wanted.

 As Sarah Mae started to decline she called several times to check on her and sometimes talked to her or a caregiver.  The last time they talked on the phone, grandma was already in the hospice bed. I was there and when they hung up Grandma said, “Hazel has been a good neighbor to me all these years.”

Now as they have both moved to heaven this year, I hope they live in a place like Hobbsville and they are still neighbors.

The Last Guest has arrived

It has taken a while for me to even think about writing this post. Writing helps me process big changes; some that are joyful and some not. 

 My children were blessed with all four Great-Grandmas. When Mason had his 4th birthday party, he said he wanted all the great grandmas to sit together: Grandma Hobbs, Grandma Tay, Grandma Joyce, Mae Mae, and can't forget Aunt Vert. They had sat together before by never quite like this, they were being honored by "their" Mason. . 

 

In the last 6 years, one at a time, they have gone to sit at the Great-Grandma table in heaven. The last one, Mae Mae, famous for being fashionably late was the last one to get there in May this year. Mae Mae, or as she was known before as Grandma was so special to us. There is so much I could write about her character or her commitment to her family. I could write about her work ethic and how "doing it right" was more important than doing it fast. She took her conviction of holiness to a level not familiar to many. She loved living but she also loved being in service to others. . 

  As her earthly body started to shut down back in December she fought so hard to stay present.  The adjustment from intervention to comfort was hard. She taught me so much about will power and perseverance during that time. During those 5 months I experienced what it meant to be stuck in transition. She wanted her heavenly home and to find her loved ones as her time connected to us was whitering away.  

  This year on Good Friday we took our last ride in the car like we had done for countless appointments before, but this time was different, I knew it was the last… I knew it was the rally. She had already been in the bed not able to stand for a week but this day she was ready to go HOME. She was ready to go to Ryland. We tried to appease her by keeping her busy but she didn’t want us she wanted home. That was heartbreaking. During our chat that day I was a stranger she had met while visiting someone else’s home. Explicit compliments were rarely spoken directly to us as family but usually overheard as she was bragging to others about us. As a new acquaintance it was evident when she spoke about "hers" she was proud. She named everyone and listed their accomplishments with a huge smile. I will cherish that conversation.  

  My last visit, I knew it would possibly be my last, she held on tight as I talked to her. She mummbled the whole time I was there. Then clear as day she said “I love you suga.” I knew it would be the last time I heard her voice. Letting that part of her go crushed my heart.  

 

A family friend told me at her graveside something I can not shake. "Your life is about to change" I still catch myself worrying about her and then realizing that she is safe in heaven. But what hasn't changed is what she taught me, that family is worth the fight, doing the right thing is the right thing even when it is hard, and to take advantage of every minute with family and I intend to do just that.

 As I imagine that heavenly great-grandma table, Grandma Tay and Mae Mae are talking about putting up corn and butter beans. Grandma Joyce and Grandma Hobbs are sharing word find books and sipping on some soda. They all are eating ice cream and talking about their families; their proud moments and concerns like most grandmas do. Thank you great-grandmas for loving us.

Mrs. Evans has left the building...

In July 0f 2016, I was at an unexpected crossroads in my career.  I needed to make some decisions to fit the needs of my family but I was extremely nervous about leaving my only school and starting new somewhere else.  It was late July, past prime hiring time and I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to find anything.  Just on a hunch, I looked at openings in Chowan and Perquimans Counties.  Each K-2 school had one opening, I was sure they were old listings being that late in July.  I quickly, emailed interest for the position at White Oak Elementary expecting a "sorry it has already been filled" email to follow.  Instead, I got a call from HR asking if I could come the next day for an interview.  In preparation for the interview, I realized SHE was the principal.  That SHE that I had seen at different trainings and meetings.  The SHE that wore suits, high heels, and had THAT look.  I was scared to death.

I applied on Tuesday, interviewed on Wednesday, and she offered me the job on Thursday.  When she called me to offer me the job.  I said, "Thank you for giving me this opportunity."  She replied, "There is too much of God in this situation for me not to follow his path!"  All my fear and anxiety left.  She has that way about her, using her one-liners to settle the score.

My best instructional experience with her during her tenure at White Oak was in March 2020.  The governor had just shut schools down for 2 weeks.  We met as a staff and she said, "We are only making packets for the whole school for these two weeks.  We will probably be out for a while and we are NOT saying elementary students can't learn virtually.  We are here to figure out how to do it."  Through COVID and virtual learning, she taught me what it took to create something great out of nothing and how to lead a group of people, and for that, I will forever be grateful. 

My family came to know and respect Mrs. Evans and her larger-than-life persona.  One even watched Cubbie TV every day, just for her "Something to Think About".  Also, they often ask
"What does Mrs. Evans think about it?" when debating educational issues. When James started as a substitute she was one of his biggest cheerleaders.

Through the years of working for her,  my ears were trained to hear high heels and I am a better teacher for knowing the woman behind the suit.

Happy Retirement, Mrs. Evans..you deserve the break!

Grandma Tay

Katherine Copeland had many names that her loves called her: Mama, Sister, Mrs. Copeland, Grandma, Great-Grandma, Gi Gi, and Grandma Tay.  She became Grandma Tay to Mason as soon as he could eat solid food and talk.  Grandma “Taters” was quickly shortened to Tay and their love for each other grew.  Mrs. Copeland had a unique ability to make everyone that sat around her infamous kitchen table feel like they had a special bond with her that she didn’t share with anyone else.  She gave love in lots of ways~by cooking food, being present, and her hugs.  On Wednesday, I saw the twinkle in her eyes that I had missed seeing for the past year.  She gave me a wink as I told her she was going to finish her race strong and we would never forget the strength she possessed.  As James walked in the room, her love for him was evident on both of their faces and a life of full love and full dedication was realized by both.  

She was the biggest cheerleader for my little section of the Copeland family.  James and I took a few breaks when we first started dating, like many couples.  Soon after we had reunited we joined her at Chappell Hill Church for a service.  When the congregation was asked to give any prayer request or praise reports, Mrs. Copeland stood up and said, "I just want to thank God for bringing James and Beth back together.  I have been praying and they are good together."  Then I was embarrassed, but now I am thankful that we had someone praying for us from the very beginning.

Though her hands may have been knotted and gnarled with years of dedication to her family, church, and community, they were hands that knew love and how to love.  And because she was no stranger to tragedy, heartache, and strife, she knew the importance of loving her family and committing to that wholeheartedly.   May we all glean from her example and love our families with as much love and joy as she did.  All of her will be missed and grieved for generations.

A Cubbie has gone home...

We are heartbroken today at White Oak Elementary.  One of our own had just started her journey into retirement when she was called home yesterday.  She was one of my connections in 2nd grade when I came to White Oak.  She would quietly give me a heads up if I was not doing something the "White Oak way."  We shared numerous conversations about being caregivers for our families and the blessings from that responsibility.  I will forever be grateful for her listening ear from someone that truly understood.

It is funny, being a teacher, work is most always fun.  Teresa was one of the best at that.  When maker space hit the classroom, she excelled at connecting maker space projects to books.  She always had a craft or an outside of the classroom addition to the lesson at hand. 

I have been thinking about her favorite one liners today....

"NOT Today!"

"Why can't I just write it?"

"Beth, come fix this!"

"You save me a seat?"

"It is going to be alright."

"Oh, (fill in teacher's name)  to be sure not!"

The playground bench was one of her favorite places, and the team had some of the best talks out there.  When recess finally returns to normal, we will save a seat for you on the bench, cause you will always be out there.  We can hope that there is a playground in heaven that needs supervision.  

 

A rich heritage...

Rich...they were not rich by worldly means.  I never knew that as a child.  What I did know was that my grandparents loved us so true that nothing got in their way of being there.  Being present and being involved was their love language and I always felt loved. 

In the past several days I have tried to pick out memories of just me and Grandaddy, I have very few of him and I alone before grandma passed.  The reason is they were always together, always.  Even though they had two total opposite personalities, it is hard to talk about one without the other.  Besides the fact my grandma did not have a license, they fully depended on each other for most anything.  Their marriage to me is a testament to true commitment to one another. 

He had the strongest heart, even though sometimes it was broken he loved with more heart than he had.  That rich heritage of loving your family with everything you have is something I am proud to have received.